Self care

Many times when we get wrapped in the blanket of our depression the first thing to go is “self care”. It is unfortunate because this is one of the most important things we can do to help shed those blankets. But what is “self care”? “Self care” is the deliberate and systematic step that we make in order to better our physical and mental health. Take small steps at first and here are a few suggestions:
1.Make an appointment for a physical checkup
2.Reach out to other people whether friends or family.
3.Get 8 hours of rest per night. It is a good idea to think of a routine bed time if you have a hard time falling asleep.
4.Exercise 30 minutes a day at least three days a week.
5.Eat wholesome fruits and vegetables and drink at least 64 oz.’s of water per day. If need be make an appointment for a nutritionist.
6.Take vitamins such as Omega-3 and Vitamin D.
7.Do at lease one thing you find fun per week. This could be going to the movies, going for a walk in nature, going to a animal humane society, whatever it is commit to doing this activity at least once per week.
8.Learn relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation or meditation.
This list probably seems exhaustive if you are in the grips of anxiety or depression. If so it could be helpful to make an appointment with a mental health therapist. There are current openings at Phoenix Mental Health located in Uptown Minneapolis. Please, don’t wait, call 612-501-6807 or email jeffjones@phoenix-mental-health.com

The various psychotherapies that fall under the rubric of post-modern and post-structural psychotherapy have become more and more numerous over the past decade. For example there is solution-focused, narrative therapy, collaborative therapy, social therapeutics, brief therapy, etc. What they all have in common is a dedication to the way we use language. Language to tell a story, to re-story, for telling preferred stories, to deconstruct the language that is being used, to the use of language and generating meaning in the present moment, and to the changing nature of language. There is a dedication to finding out how our problems are described and through the language we use how we bring them alive.

Sometimes we become stuck in the running story that we tell others and the same story plays out in our own minds. We seem to not be able to get out of the quicksand of the story and so we become stuck. That is where psychotherapy could be useful. To have someone who cares, who can be empathetic, and to help create a safe place to help brainstorm ideas to start to become unstuck. Sometimes all it takes is to be able to voice what we are feeling and thinking. To bounce ideas off from another person. To create the new ideas into tangible and realistic ways of making our lives better.

If you live in the Twin Cities area and are looking for a psychotherapist please call 612-501-6807 or send an email to jeffjones@phoenix-mental-health.com Together we can discover new solutions to your present problems.

It has been a while since the last time I wrote a blog. When I first started writing this blog I had hopes of keeping up with it at least once a week. Now that months have passed I can safely say I broke that promise. This leads me to think of a common problem in therapy: anxiety. Anxiety tends to be future orientated, a fear (and even a fear of the fear) of the unknown future. This fear seems to manifest in different ways for different people, it could be fear of other people, or fear of public places, or even the fear of losing ourselves into the great unknown. This fear typically has to do with a postmodern “performance”; the wanting to live up to an ideal way of being. Maybe this is the idea of a public speaker who is polished and laid back and has no worries or the idea of entering a school and being “just like every other” student. This performance is a cultural trick because no one really knows what performance is always and in every situation the correct “way of being”.

We are all just pretending to know the “right way”. The question should be asked what is better, a performance or authenticity, and does it matter? And to whom? And why?

How does this help with beating back anxiety? It helps to shift our perspective on our fear. It helps us to question the object of our fear. It does not get rid of the anxiety but helps change the magnitude of the power that we have given it.

How does this relate back to not writing a blog for the past few months? I believe that I had envisioned myself as a person who was a prolific writer, a writer who was admired, perhaps even a future of having one of the best awarded blogs around. That would be quite the performance to live up to. So I have created this fear of being anything less than that, but by questioning this performance and assessing what it is that I could actually accomplish I have helped change my perspective and have thus lowered my performance anxiety.

How do we manage are problems if they keep poking their ugly heads into our lives? Can we just think positive thoughts in hopes that they will just go away? Can we just start up an exercise program in similar hopes? Or can we get that raise in hopes that it will vanquish all of our problems? All of these ideas could help move us into a better position. We tend to feel better for a fleeting moment but then, usually, our problems just tend to surface again.

This is not to sound despairing but to help nudge us into having a different way of relating to our struggles. To honor those struggles and then to try and create a different position towards them. A quick story to help with this thought.

When I was a teenager I had a lot of anger and angst. Now there were many many reasons for this, but for now that is not part of this story. I was that kid who lashed out at everyone. Family, friends, myself, and even teachers. I would do anything to anyone just because I thought they stood in my way. I soon found myself apart of a beautiful community amongst punk rockers. This community helped me to think about possible reasons for this anger and angst. But it wasn’t until many years, and a lot of trouble later, that I had one of those life changing conversations that you remember till your dieing day. It was with this teacher of mine who had asked (not told) me to sit down and discuss my anger and angst. I don’t know if he meant to change my life so much but he did. What he said was that my anger should be honored but that I should try and channel into something more positive. After that conversation I soon became a part of Amnesty International and from there I became a life long social justice activist. This helped to honor my frustrations but to channel it into making a better world.

Do you have a similar story? I would love to hear it and to possibly post it here on this blog. Please email me at: jeffjones@phoenix-mental-health.com

I was recently listening to this Chumbawamba song and it got me to thinking about therapy.  What does the metaphor of getting knocked down mean?  Does it entail a place of standing in the first place?  What if in world of inequality we were never in a place of standing up?  The first noble truth that Buddha stated was that there is suffering in life.  How then do we go forward with the cessation of suffering and to get up again?  I posit that one way forward is to metaphorically contemplate moving out of the cave and back into the world.  The idea of the cave being a place of enlightenment, in my opinion, can only be appreciated because at some point the practitioner in the cave came out and discussed their findings.  This leads me to the next point.  We are relational and standing up after a possible life time of being knocked down takes community.  The journey to get back up again starts from that dialogical voice that says there has to be some other way to move forward than what is going on now.  Therapy can be beneficial as a vehicle on this road, but it is not the journey itself.  Reaching out to those you love, your friendships, your coworkers, the store clerk, your music scene, your world is the best way to gather strength, to stand up again, after getting knocked down.

Here is an old Zen story that really resonates with me at times.  I hope it resonates with you.  Enjoy!

Maybe

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.

“Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful,” the neighbors exclaimed.

“Maybe,” replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.

“Maybe,” answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

“Maybe,” said the farmer.

I am excited to add that the free class I am offering coming up this September 28th titled “Changing the Narrative of Mental Illness” was cited in a recent MPR article.  Please follow the link: http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2009/09/16/exco-experimental-college/

I an offering a free group therapy class through EXCO Free School.  The title of the class is “Changing the Narrative of our Mental Illness”. 

Details:

 Through the use of storytelling we will explore our experiences with mental illness.  Then with the group process we will explore the individual and collective meanings that uphold the meanings of our mental illnesses.  We will then be listening for an alternative story that can tell us about our preferred way of being.

This class is both a self healing class and an exploration of social justice issues through the eyes and minds of those of us coping with mental illness.

I will be listing the readings here as they become available:
1. Trafficking in the World of Possibilities
2. The Narrative Construction of Reality

I am sorry that it has been awhile since the last post but I was in Vancouver and, well,  it is the summer time so life is busy.  I also did not mean to leave off with the thoughts on deconstruction but those will just have to wait until a future post.  Until then, enjoy.

The theory of social construction leads to some thorny issues.  On one hand you have academics who state that there is no actual reality or facts but what is socially constructed.  In the ivory tower this makes perfect sense.  We create what is known, after our experience, through dialogue and other cultural ways of transmitting information.  But, and this is a big but, this theory can also take away what is a known reality and cultural responsibility.  For example lets examine race.  There is very little scientific evidence, if any at all, that would state that there are any real differences in race.  Yet, this does not fit well with most peoples experience of race and oppression.  There is along history of racial oppression, institutional racism, and white supremacy in the US.  At the same time there is a long history of anti-racism activism and movements to help people feel proud of who they are.  To state that race is just a conceptual theory and it does not exist is not promoting, in my opinion, a furtherance of justice based on equality.  The very least the theory can come off as another form of degradation.

The theory of social construction does help navigate to a solid foundation of which we can ask certain questions.  For example, having a bisexual identity.  One could ask numerous questions such as what makes one bisexual?  Is it an act? A thought? A way of identifying?  If it is an act, what about situations that is beyond someones control such as being in prison and finding a partner in prison?  Or what about the male prostitute who states he is heterosexual? What about the person who has taken a vow of celibacy for life but knows that they have dual attractions?  These are all just questions and trying to identity an individual should be left up to them to identify.  Not from the ivory tower.

The last post is incomplete without further information.  Deconstruction is not only parts of the sum but it is the beginning process of applied deconstruction.  Once there is a part that has been separated from the whole it needs to be examined.  Put under a microscope if you will.  It is not about scientific discovery but more about the ideas that make it “true”.

I get it; this is confusing so let’s take an example.  Lets say you are struggling with depression and there seems to be no way out.  We could discover together experiences that have helped to contribute to the reinforcement of the depression.  Maybe there was a comment from your father that was particularly hurtful.  For this example your father said something about your weight.  We could take this comment and look at how and why your father might uphold this belief.  We could look at the sexist attitudes in our society or how the mass media contributes to ill feelings we have toward ourselves. Many people struggle with body image issues and no wonder because we are bombarded daily about messages of the “right” way to look.  What is sexy, normal, beautiful, and yet we all come in many shapes and sizes that are unique to ourselves.  We could then look at the statement from your father from a new lens and how he is just upholding the status queue. 

We will work together to honor your unique values, beliefs, dreams that contradict this way of being in our society.  I know that I am interested in your knowledge of how you have stood up to these kinds of comments. 

P.S.  Stay tuned as this series about deconstruction continues.